It’s time to harness our inner giraffes!

With the ongoing and seemingly worsening world situation, it’s so easy to slip into judgement and blame. These are systemic ‘jackal’ behaviours that have been programmed into us since birth. (For more on this, see my blog, ‘Divided we fall’)

And yet, now, even more than ever, we need to hold onto our visions for a better world and keep focusing on love, compassion and togetherness. (This is our natural, innate ‘giraffe’ way of being that has been programmed out of us since birth.)

But how do we do that when all around us the situation appears to be worsening?

Often, we direct our anger, fear and frustration at people who don’t think the same as us; who are acting in ways that we don’t understand or relate to. I know that frustration. In fact, I had a good old rant a few hours ago about the stupidity of everyone and everything right now.

This was in front of my children – not my finest parenting moment. Although, it was my two daughters who helped me to switch that rant around; connected me back with my inner giraffe, simply by saying: ‘You don’t really mean that, Mummy.’ And they were right – I didn’t.

I allowed myself this jackal moment because I know it’s ok. It’s ok to rant, to get frustrated, angry, to feel scared. We all feel these feelings and they are a perfectly understandable and natural response to the current world trauma we’re all experiencing.

But I also know it’s important not to get stuck in those feelings; not to be sucked into the judging and blaming…as this only serves to fuel all the division and hatred running rife around the world.

So, how do we let those feelings go? How do we switch from our jackal to our giraffe?

Firstly, we need to breathe! Take steady, calming breaths in and out through the nose and connect with the life force within us. If possible, get grounded: connect with the earth either physically or in our imagination. Allow ourselves to feel those emotions, let those feelings flow through us, feel them with their full force. And we do this from a place of self-empathy. By self-empathy, I mean we notice our emotions without judging ourselves…and we bring as much tenderness to those feelings as we can muster.

If possible, I find it really helps to figure out the needs beneath those emotions. I ask myself: ‘What needs of mine are not being met that are causing me to feel this way?’

For me, much of my current anger and fear stems from my strong need for freedom of choice: around what I do, where I go and what I put into my own body. When I see what is going on in the world, I fear that freedom (that I believe should be a basic human right) is going to be taken away.

For many, it already has.

My needs for trust, honesty and respect for different views and opinions often go unmet these days too.

So, I sit with my unmet needs and I allow myself to mourn; to grieve, to let out my sorrow, my anger and frustration. Often, I have a good old ‘jackaly’ rant (usually to myself.)

I do all this with my giraffe ears on and my giraffe heart open wide. No judging myself, no feeling guilty about unleashing my jackals - just accepting how I feel and what I am telling myself in that moment.

And then I give myself a big giraffey hug.

Then, when I’ve given myself as much empathy as I can, I turn my attention to the people whose words or actions have triggered these emotions in me. I do my best to send some empathy their way. This is not easy. I’ve been in jackal bootcamp all my life and it’s a hard habit to break.

Nevertheless, I don my giraffe ears and listen to what they’re saying, observe what they’re doing and I see if I can figure out the needs behind their words and actions. Often, they are the same needs as mine – they just have a different way of trying to meet them.

All of this I do from afar, mostly in my head, sometimes in my journal, but I find it helps me to understand them; to see them as the compassionate beings I believe we all are at heart. And from this perspective, I’m better able to pull myself up out of the anger and fear, into a place of compassion and love.

From this place, I am able to focus on the vision; on the world I want to see. And this is so important right now. I truly believe that the more collective love and energy we can channel towards our vision of a better world, the more likely we are to bring it into reality. And the more often we’re able to harness our inner giraffes, the more quickly this is likely to come about.

For more on this topic, read my blog: How do we heal the world?