What is ‘Giraffe’ Parenting?!
….And how can it help us to strengthen the relationship with our children?
In our modern world, the predominant parenting paradigm is based upon the assumption that children need to be trained to 'do as they're told'.
Reward charts, praise, 'time out' and 'naughty steps' are popular strategies that are often promoted by parenting experts. (And, as a former teacher, I've used a fair number of them in the classroom too!)
These strategies may work in the short term (and they're certainly kinder and more effective than nagging, criticising and yelling) but they're not helping our children to develop the independence, resilience and self-awareness that they need to thrive in today's world.
Instead, they teach children to look outwards for approval and to do what's expected of them in order to gain a reward or avoid a consequence.
In the long run, this leads to children who are disconnected from their own emotions and needs - which can result in frustration, anger and pushback.
Giraffe parenting is about 'power with' rather than 'power over'.
It's about prioritising empathy and connection over control and compliance.
And choosing compassion and acceptance over 'being right' or 'winning'.
Giraffe parenting is not about being permissive. It's not about letting go of all boundaries and leaving our children to run wild. (Although there's no harm in that from time to time!)
Instead, it's about releasing our judging and blaming (you know those 'inner jackals' that tell us our children are 'disrespectful', 'lazy' or 'rude!)
And parenting from a place of peaceful presence.
From this place, we can connect with the needs behind our children’s words and actions...and we can foster a relationship built on empathy, understanding and trust.
Giraffe parenting is not easy. It's not a 'quick fix' or simple 'three-step programme' to solve all your parenting woes.
For many of us, it involves breaking the habits of a lifetime.
It requires a shift in how we communicate with our children and, crucially, in how we communicate with ourselves.
(Because when we 'jackal' at ourselves, we tend to 'jackal' at our kids too!)
And yet it's so much more than communication.
Giraffe parenting is not about being perfect or always 'getting it right'.
It's about making a conscious choice to 'be more giraffe' - to show up each day with the intention of living in a big-hearted way - with compassion, abundance and joy...
...And forgiving ourselves when things don't go to plan!
In so doing, we strengthen the bonds with our children and we teach them how to go out into the world and be 'giraffes' too.
And, let's face it: we really need more giraffes on this planet right now. 🦒🌎🦒
If you'd like to learn more about what it means to be a 'giraffe parent' then join my FREE workshop: https://www.bemoregiraffe.com/for-parents